Small Catch Up

Ok...So it's been a while, a LONG while...Life has a way of getting a hold on you, and sometimes you just have to ride the wave. Here are some of the things I've been up to; some happy, some sad, some frustrating:

~  My dad was able to visit us over Christmas. We had a great time down at "Big Handsome's Hideaway" in Key Largo, until the next event happened...

~  My brother passed away on December 29, 2013 suddenly. It was a complete shock to the entire family and "sad" just doesn't do my feelings justice. He lived on the other side of the country and we didn't see each other much at all, in fact the last time I had seen him was the year before when our beloved mother passed away. I wouldn't go to the funeral; I just wasn't ready to say goodbye. I am still not ready.

~  In January, I began teaching my Art Appreciation class that I taught to high school homeschoolers at our Co-op. It was fun and interesting. I'd never taught Art, nor had I ever taught high schoolers.

~  It was Beauty Queen's senior year of high school, so we were quite busy getting everything together, taking SAT, ACT, ordering diploma (which I still haven't done yet), getting senior pictures taken, getting ready for Senior Prom, getting ready for Graduation, and on, and on, and on.

~  Spending weekends at Big Handsome's Hideaway. Big Handsome closing in part of our downstairs breezeway to make a lovely outdoor patio. We are still working on that.

~  Healthwise, I've been doing ok. Since teaching my Art Appreciation class, I've been bitten by the "Art Bug". I've been busy watching all sorts of YouTube videos, making my own art journals, junk journals, painted papers, and generally just experimenting. I try to do art daily. It takes up a lot of my time, but it is something I really enjoy doing and there is something so therapeutic in creating something daily. I've also joined a FB group that is all about art journaling. I absolutely love it and all the talented people that are on there. I get daily inspiration and support from them.

~  I've also tried to keep in touch with my illness sites: Coping with Chronic Illness and POTSY Paradise. The admin is such a lovely lady with such a tender heart and a real gift for support and encouragement. I truly cherish the friendship that we have cultivated over the last year +.

~  Big Handsome has had his own health issues as of late. He began last summer with headaches, pressure, vertigo, dizziness, et al. At first he went to and ENT because we thought it might be sinus related. Well...many appointments, tests, medications, procedures later we found that nothing was helping. He finally went to a Neuro and found through an MRI that he has herniated disks and a host of other issues in his C-Spine area. Two choices are: surgery or pain management. Haven't really done anything about it all as of yet. Plus he spent five days in the hospital recently with another bout of pancreatitis.

~  School year is starting up again. I've now got just my teenage Sonshine to school this year. He's also beginning his college career and getting him registered was a nightmare. I still haven't enrolled him in his Virtual School classes, and I don't even know if I have all of his books yet. Summer has gone by way too fast.

~  I will be teaching again at the Co-op in January and I haven't even begun to plan for it. Usually I'm all prepared, get all my planning done over the summer, but that hasn't happened this year. It's a Creative Writing class. I shall be teaching the high schoolers again. We are going to create Autobiographies. Hopefully I'll get the darned class planned before it actually starts.

I'm sure there is a bunch I'm missing, suffice it to say, I've been busy. Such is life though, eh? I guess I should be thankful that I can say that I've been busy. I'm totally thankful that I haven't had to spend nearly the amount of time in bed as I used to.

Sorry I haven't been on here to update. I'm going to try to post more often. I've got to come up with some Top Ten Tuesday lists as well. Hopefully, it won't be so long before my next post.

We might feel helpless at times, but we are never hopeless! 

 

One of my Art Journal pages

My Beloved Ma

Yesterday, September 14^th, marked one year since my beloved mother left this earth at the age of 68. I still cannot fathom that she is gone. When I think of her, I still think of her in her chair in her living room, draped in her prayer blanket, handmade by the ladies in her church, watching TV. Of course I try not to remember the myriad attachments she had, like the oxygen machine, her feeding tube, and all the health paraphernalia she had on the table beside her.

I try not to remember the tired look in her eyes, the effort that was expended when she would use her walker to walk one lap around the kitchen, or her labored breathing due to only having one lung. I don’t like to think on these things, but it is so hard as she was sick for so long. I try not to dwell on what was supposed to be a routine hiatal hernia surgery gone terribly awry on April 22, 2005.

I try not to focus on the proximal distance between us because she and my father lived halfway across the country. I don’t want to think about the coulda’s, woulda’s and shoulda’s.

Instead, I shall celebrate her life and the joy that she brought to my life, my husband’s and my children’s.

She was an awesome mom; she was “Ma” to me. My Ma was not only my mother; she was my friend, my confidant, my protector, my cheerleader and so much more.

My Ma loved her husband, my father for 50+ years. She loved her four children. She loved her daughter’s-in-law and her son’s-in-law.  She loved each and every one of her 13 grandchildren. She loved to brag about all of our achievements, and she was always there to cheer us on when we stumbled.

My ma was the one I always went to when I had a question about anything from flowers to recipes to remedies. She was my go-to gal. I could always count on her. I find it such a shame that she missed the whole iPhone, FB, Skype, YouTube, Pinterest etc. era. She would’ve loved it all.

I wish I could have FB’d with her, and I would have on a daily basis. I would have loved to share a funny video via YouTube with her just to hear her contagious laugh. I would have loved to Skype with her so that I could see her beautiful smile. I know if she could have Pinterested, she would have had a bazillion boards.

My Ma was a beautiful soul. I miss her daily. I think of her often. I miss her affirmations of love. I would love to hear her refer to me as “a neat kid” one more time.

Excerpt from my dad’s thoughts about yesterday…beautifully articulated:

“To my dear sweet gentle bride how I have missed you this past year.

I can’t believe that it has been a year since you left this life. It seems like yesterday when you asked us to gather around your bed for one last time. This wasn’t the first time we would come from out of town prepared for the worst but still praying for the best.

Over seven and a half years of recuperation this scenario was repeated several times. But, this time you lowered your head slightly and wrinkled your brow a little as you gave a stern look in our direction, as if you were about to scold us, as only a mother could do. You pointed to each one of us and made us promise to look after each other when you were no longer there to watch over us and protect us. That very moment we all did take up that solemn promise to you and agreed to do as you asked. Now, it is up to each of us to individually search our hearts and know whether or not we have kept that promise!

You are sorely missed by those lives you touched and by all who knew you and loved you. But, none more than the one whom you built a life with. A life of thousands of thoughts, plans, events and dreams that we knit together with each other growing and building that life. Hardly a day goes by that my memory doesn’t dig deep into the past and somehow recall one of those many thousands of something’s that we shared together over those fifty years we were together.

I praise God for that life he gave to us. May God forever rest your soul. I love you sweetie.”

I praise God for my mother’s and father’s testimony of love and devotion. I will always miss my Ma, but it will be with the fondest of memories. May her beloved soul rest in the peace of Jesus today and always.

Semi Update

Well…I have a partial update on the goings on around here. Seems my household has been inundated with medical issues as of late, and surprisingly enough, they aren’t mine. Mine have had to be put on the back burner, since I have to gear up all my energies to help take care of Big Handsome and our Beauty Queen, aka-teenage daughter.

I haven’t been on the blog for a bit as I’ve been to the hospital on three separate occasions for testing with Big Handsome and Beauty Queen as well as various doctor’s appointments. It’s quite the different story when it is your loved ones and not you. I would so gladly take their place, if I could, so they wouldn’t have to go through it at all.

First, Big Handsome. He’s my American Express card-I never leave home without him. He’s also like the Energizer Bunny…he just keeps going, and going, and going. I really don’t know how he does it. I wish I could harness his resolve and perseverance.

Life was just goin’ along and then, BAM, a few weeks ago I come out to the patio for my coffee to see my Big Handsome lazily stretched out on the couch trying to muster up the motivation to work out (I don’t even know what that feels like, not to mention, in 25 years, I never knew Big Handsome could even do lazy!) Anywho, Big Handsome has a strict workout schedule, that’s why I knew something was up the moment I came out to see him sprawled on the couch. Big Handsome doesn’t “sprawl”.

When I come out on the weekends, usually around 8:30-9:00am, Big Handsome has been up since 5am (or before), has completed some work on his computer for the office, has drank about a pot of coffee, worked out and has begun to clean the pool. This particular Sunday, I came out to him sprawled on the couch…my first thought was WTH? Do I see an ER visit in the near future? I have to tell you that we avoid the ER like to plague. We are not the type to go for any ol’ willy nilly thing, but to see Big Handsome sprawled…I have to admit, I was instantly worried.

He told me that he just didn’t “feel right”; he couldn’t really explain it. Finally, I did some Q&A on him and got him to at least try to explain what was going on. I asked,  “Are you in pain?” No. “Do you think you are coming down with something?” No “Do you have a fever?” No.  “Do we need to go to the ER or Urgent Care?” Hell no. Ok…what next? He finally was able to tell me that he had pressure in his head, although no headache. He said he felt this pressure around his eyes and ears, but was not in any pain. He expressed that it feels like his body is not catching up with his brain (the infamous brain fog). He told me that his eyes were having a hard time focusing and he wasn’t able to make a smooth transition when looking in one direction and then switching to another. Also, his blood pressure was a bit elevated and basically, he just felt like crap.

I called the doctor and he went in. We’d just had blood work done recently and it all came back wonderfully. He expressed to the doctor what he was feeling and she wrote out some prescriptions for some tests at the hospital. He went in for the tests and even though the radiologists aren’t doctors and can’t really tell you much of anything, both of them told Big Handsome that there didn’t appear to be anything on the scans that looked emergent. Great news. Bad news is that he still feels crappy, still has the pressure and is getting frustrated with not feeling well and not knowing what is going on. Long story short, or maybe it’s too late for that; I’ll make another appointment today to get him in to the doctor to see if we can get to the bottom of things. Big Handsome seems to think it might be a residual ear infection left over from a cold he had some months ago. I sure hope it is nothing serious.

Now on to Beauty Queen. She went in for her routine echocardiogram a few weeks ago and the doctor noticed something that wasn’t right. Something was showing up on the sonogram that had not shown up on the previous ones. She took the case to a Cardio conference at the Children’s Hospital and they suggested more testing. So Beauty Queen was hooked up to  a 30 day Holter Monitor and scheduled for an MRI/MRA and echocardiogram. It was a family affair as we all trekked up to the Hospital together to support our Beauty Queen who was beyond all worry. Thankfully, they were able to give her a sedative, which unfortunately didn’t kick in until thirty minutes into the test. Also, Big Handsome was able to be in the testing room with her; he kept his hand on her head to reassure her he was right there with her. Everything went fine until 15 minutes before the test was to end and she piped up with the need to use the facilities (totally another story, and quite humorous by the way Beauty Queen tells it). Needless to say, she had to hold “it” lest they have to start the whole test over again. Good news is that the cardiologist there told my husband that there didn’t seem to be anything that he saw on the scans that we should be concerned about. It was a long, exhausting day.

Now we just have to wait until we go into see her cardiologist with the final test results.

So, phone calls once again are on tap for me this morning. In fact, gotta go make some now.

This too shall pass, this too shall pass, this too shall pass…