Top Ten Tuesdays

Well last week Tuesday came and went for me and I didn’t even realize I hadn’t posted a Top Ten until Thursday. I thought about posting then, but just didn’t have the energy. Anywho, Daylight Savings Time really bites, but here is the new Top Ten in no particular order:

Top Ten Symptoms That I Struggle With Daily

1. Bradycardia: When my heart rate gets too low and my brain seems to tell my heart “Get jumpin’, get pumpin!” and it feels like my heart is going to pound out of my chest; it takes my breath away sometimes.

2. Sleeplessness: When I can’t get to sleep and even worse, can’t stay asleep. I toss and turn all night usually only getting about 2 hours of continuous sleep at a time. When I take a nap in the afternoon, this is the only time I get a few hours of uninterrupted and restful sleep. Not getting enough sleep is not good, it makes me irritating, oops…I mean irritable J

3. General malaise: I just don’t “feel” like doing anything. If I could, I’d just lie in bed, in my comfy, warm, cover-cave and live forever. I can’t do that, I know, but sometimes I think it would be so nice to just be in bed, sleeping peacefully only to wake realizing that this illness has been a terrible nightmare.

4. Tinnitus: This ringing in my ears would like to drive me insane sometimes. I can’t figure out what it’s all about. It is just plain annoying and worse in the morning and at night. I have also acquired hearing difficulty which I’m not sure is related to the tinnitus or not. Maybe I can’t hear quite as well, because I am too busy listening to the symphony of crickets in my head. If they only knew Tchaikovsky, or at the very least, The Fray! J It’s not so funny when your kids yell out before starting to watch a movie with the family, “Hey, did someone remember to turn on the subtitles for the hearing impaired?” Ok, maybe it is a bit funny, at least in our house.

5. Fatigue: I feel like an 80 year old in a 40-something body. I wake every morning with aches and pains. My back is so sore; I’m seriously considering buying into a fad mattress (you know the ones I’m talking about… TempurPedic®, Sleep Number®, etc.) Some have told me to exercise, and I would, if it didn’t leave me feeling like I’d been run over by a truck the next morning, and that’s after a whole 20 minutes of yoga on the Wii Fit Plus. So pathetic!

6. Anxiety: This should probably be at the top of the list, but I said this was in no particular order. I experience this almost on a daily basis especially if I am going to be leaving the house and/or driving. As of late, I’ve had to be out of the house 4 out of the 5 school day week. I don’t know how people who work with this illness do it. I guess, you just gotta do what you gotta do.

7. No appetite: Not sure if this is part of the illness or medicine related. I am just rarely hungry. I’ve always been one of those types that eat to live, not live to eat. I know I should eat, but never know what to eat as I’m not really hungry for anything specific. Add to that, lack of energy to make anything and you’ve got very little eating going on.

8. Nausea: This is of course related to number 7. How can one really eat all that much when nausea is a constant? Big Handsome loves to watch the cooking shows and there are times when I can’t even do that, just the thought of food makes me want to hurl.

9. Tachycardia: Quickening of my heart rate for no apparent reason. I can feel it happening and now I’m so used to it, it’s just there in the background.

10. Chest pain/discomfort: I experience this on a daily basis. I’ve reported it to the doctors only to get responses like, “That pain has nothing to do with your heart.”, or “You’re too young to have heart problems.”, or “That has nothing to do with POTS.” Just another symptom that over the years I’ve unfortunately gotten used to.

I know that the above list might not sound like much to some as there are many with POTS that suffer so many more debilitating symptoms. This list of mine certainly isn’t a full-on list of my symptoms and there are many more that I could list. I am thankful and grateful though that I don’t experience syncope (fainting), blood pooling, and a host of other symptoms that really stop people in their tracks. The ones I have are enough for me and I wouldn’t wish even this short list on my worst enemy.

I know that I can be a “Negative Nelly” and I hope to post a more positive list one of these coming Tuesday’s, but for now, this is what I’ve got; I write what’s on my mind at the time.