Tuesday, January 29, 2013

The Many Definitions of “I’m Fine”



There are myriad definitions for “I’m fine” when one is trying to live with a chronic illness. When I say, “I’m fine” it can mean so many different things…

My “I’m fine” Meanings:

~ I’m actually fine which can be so rare and elusive at times that when it does appear, I try to hold onto it for dear life.

~ I’m ok…a very fine line between I’m fine and I’m a bit off today, but I’m going to try to look on the bright side and make the best of things.

~ I’m not fine, but I’m going to plaster on the “I’m fine” face and soldier on.

~ I’m really not fine at all, but I’ve got things to do and people to see, so I just have to believe that I’m fine and maybe I will be.

~ I wish I felt as good as some seem to think I look! I might have make up on and a pressed skirt, but on the inside, I’m completely falling apart.

~ I so want to be fine. Just fine will do; I don’t even need extraordinary, just fine will do on most days.

~ Not fine at all…curled up in bed.

There are so many more. I think I wear more masks than the cast of any Broadway Show. My “I’m fine” one gets used most often and is slowly wearing out. I need a new mask, or maybe just no mask at all. To let people know who I am without fear of anything.

Not today though and maybe not even next week, hopefully soon. I need a break. ‘

Not to worry though, I’ll be fine J
 
 
 

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