Stupid Question

So I’ve been off the grid, so to speak for over a month now. I was hoping to come back on and be all “The world is my oyster, I’ve kicked this disorder’s a$$!” Sadly, not the case. I was trying to will this syndrome away, to no avail. I can still be thankful that I am about 20-30% better, but no way near back to my old self. I have chosen to live with it and do the best I can with what I’ve got.

I was thinking the other day that I need to call my doctor to make an appointment to refill my prescriptions. That’s all they really do for me, fill prescriptions. I guess it’s better than doing absolutely nothing. So, I was thinking about what I’d love to say (but probably won’t because I’m not the confrontational type) when the well-meaning doctor asks, quite possibly in my opinion, the stupidest question ever asked by a doctor to a patient with chronic illness…

“So how are you feeling?”…

My fantasy answer would go something like this:

“So, how am I feeling…how am I feeling? Let’s start with last night as I tossed and turned because my lower back, joints and tendons are in so much pain that it wakes me about every other hour, thus allowing me to get about 2 hours of continuous sleep at a time. This of course, is provided I can even get to sleep before I smell the coffee brewing for the next day with my tinnitus going full tilt, yet another headache, and a head full of thoughts about all the stuff I have to get done the next day but might not be able to.

I reluctantly wake the next morning sleep deprived, but I make the decision that this is a new day with new mercies.

Hmmm…how am I feeling? Well, I’m just hoping I can get through the day. As I roll out of bed feeling as though I’m eighty years old (even though I’m half that), complete with aches and pains as if somehow a Mac truck has sneaked into my room at night and run me over about a dozen times, I hobble into the bathroom to complete my morning routine which consists of peeing an inordinate amount of vermilion urine, possible diarrhea, brushing my teeth that hurt because I clench them so hard at night (I’ve cracked two molars now) hoping I don’t gag and throw up. I might need to revisit the toilet numerous times in the next couple of hours with the big D depending on the morning. Ahhh, what joy!

Actually, my mornings and afternoons go well most days provided I don’t have to double up on my anxiety meds because I have to drive somewhere or someone is coming over. Hopefully, I don’t get an adrenaline rush (or what I believe to be an adrenaline rush, I don’t know for sure as no doctor has ever looked into it) that leaves me in a pile of sweat on my cool bathroom tile floor unable to move or lift myself up. These usually happen at night though for no apparent rhyme or reason. I just lie there and have to wait for them to pass, and then I need to sleep for about 14 hours. This is just about the only time I get sleep, although I’d rather not have to go through the feeling of death in order to get some sleep.

I hope that I can do up the morning dishes without going into tachycardia, sweating profusely, tingling all over and ready to pass out, hurl or both. I hope that I can do a few loads of laundry so that my family at least has clean underwear. If I accomplish at least this without chest pain, I consider it a win. If I can get through one day without thinking I’m having a heart attack and wondering if I should call Big Handsome home to take me to the ER, I consider it a win. Hell, if I get up in the morning, I consider it a win.

I then retire to my bedroom where I spend most of my time. Maybe I’ll try to draw in the attempt to relax and lower my blood pressure that is slowly creeping upward. I would love to lie there in my comfy bed and draw, but I can’t because as of late, my eyes don’t work well with the need of reading glasses now, the floaters swimming haphazardly through my field of vision and my hands are to too shaky to draw a straight line.  A headache begins, but I’m used to those since I have one just about every single day of my life. I’m hoping it doesn’t turn into “the” headache that leaves me in a fetal position for hours and sometimes days.

I try to work with my kids on their schoolwork, all from my bed complete with laptop and books strewn all over my coverlet along with my two children and two dogs. Thank heavens for a king-sized bed. I attempt to instruct my children in Geometry, Pre-Calculus and Chemistry all with a brain-fog that leaves me not knowing which way is up.

Lunchtime is left up to the kids. At this point I don’t even know what they are eating. For all I know, lunch might consist of a pile of cheese balls. At least I know they will get a decent dinner as Big Handsome has graciously taken over that task because I can’t stand long enough at the stove to cook a meal anymore, and even if I did the tachycardia and fatigue would leave me unable to even eat the meal prepared.

I’d love to do about 15 minutes of Wii Fit Yoga, but choose not to as I know I will pay for it in spades for the next few days while my joints and tendons seem to be on fire. Might I have fibromyalgia?? Who knows, because yet again, no doctor has ever looked into it or entertained the idea that something else might be going on. 

At dinner, I eat approximately ¼ of what I used to eat and I only eat that because I have to. My stomach tells me I’m hungry but my mind says that I want to hurl just at the smell of food. After I choke down my meal, it’s onto the couch for the remainder of the evening. The headache continues as does the tinnitus, at which point I have to turn on the subtitles while attempting to watch a show because I can’t hear what is going on. If the character is turned away from the screen while talking, I can’t read their lips and am forever annoying my beloved family with “Huh???” “What did he say?” thus the need for closed captioning as well as the volume turned up to about 50, which does wonders for the headache. Wish I knew what was going on with all the hearing/tinnitus issues, but low and behold, no doctor has even talked with me about it.

I then retire to back to my bedroom hoping, praying that sleep will come, but all I have to look forward to is the same type of day tomorrow, that’s only if I can get to sleep at all.

So… dear doctor…in answer to the stupidest question ever asked, “How are you feeling?” How do you think I’m feeling? My answer is…”Like $hit, practically every day of my life.” By the way, this is my typical day. I haven't even mentioned the bradycardia, swings in blood pressure, nausea, and so much more. I’d like to ask you a question now, “What the hell are you going to do about it?”

And so, this is my triumphant return to the world of chronic illness. Thankful that I am still here to battle yet another day.

I hope that I can share something more positive in the near future.

Semi Update

Well…I have a partial update on the goings on around here. Seems my household has been inundated with medical issues as of late, and surprisingly enough, they aren’t mine. Mine have had to be put on the back burner, since I have to gear up all my energies to help take care of Big Handsome and our Beauty Queen, aka-teenage daughter.

I haven’t been on the blog for a bit as I’ve been to the hospital on three separate occasions for testing with Big Handsome and Beauty Queen as well as various doctor’s appointments. It’s quite the different story when it is your loved ones and not you. I would so gladly take their place, if I could, so they wouldn’t have to go through it at all.

First, Big Handsome. He’s my American Express card-I never leave home without him. He’s also like the Energizer Bunny…he just keeps going, and going, and going. I really don’t know how he does it. I wish I could harness his resolve and perseverance.

Life was just goin’ along and then, BAM, a few weeks ago I come out to the patio for my coffee to see my Big Handsome lazily stretched out on the couch trying to muster up the motivation to work out (I don’t even know what that feels like, not to mention, in 25 years, I never knew Big Handsome could even do lazy!) Anywho, Big Handsome has a strict workout schedule, that’s why I knew something was up the moment I came out to see him sprawled on the couch. Big Handsome doesn’t “sprawl”.

When I come out on the weekends, usually around 8:30-9:00am, Big Handsome has been up since 5am (or before), has completed some work on his computer for the office, has drank about a pot of coffee, worked out and has begun to clean the pool. This particular Sunday, I came out to him sprawled on the couch…my first thought was WTH? Do I see an ER visit in the near future? I have to tell you that we avoid the ER like to plague. We are not the type to go for any ol’ willy nilly thing, but to see Big Handsome sprawled…I have to admit, I was instantly worried.

He told me that he just didn’t “feel right”; he couldn’t really explain it. Finally, I did some Q&A on him and got him to at least try to explain what was going on. I asked,  “Are you in pain?” No. “Do you think you are coming down with something?” No “Do you have a fever?” No.  “Do we need to go to the ER or Urgent Care?” Hell no. Ok…what next? He finally was able to tell me that he had pressure in his head, although no headache. He said he felt this pressure around his eyes and ears, but was not in any pain. He expressed that it feels like his body is not catching up with his brain (the infamous brain fog). He told me that his eyes were having a hard time focusing and he wasn’t able to make a smooth transition when looking in one direction and then switching to another. Also, his blood pressure was a bit elevated and basically, he just felt like crap.

I called the doctor and he went in. We’d just had blood work done recently and it all came back wonderfully. He expressed to the doctor what he was feeling and she wrote out some prescriptions for some tests at the hospital. He went in for the tests and even though the radiologists aren’t doctors and can’t really tell you much of anything, both of them told Big Handsome that there didn’t appear to be anything on the scans that looked emergent. Great news. Bad news is that he still feels crappy, still has the pressure and is getting frustrated with not feeling well and not knowing what is going on. Long story short, or maybe it’s too late for that; I’ll make another appointment today to get him in to the doctor to see if we can get to the bottom of things. Big Handsome seems to think it might be a residual ear infection left over from a cold he had some months ago. I sure hope it is nothing serious.

Now on to Beauty Queen. She went in for her routine echocardiogram a few weeks ago and the doctor noticed something that wasn’t right. Something was showing up on the sonogram that had not shown up on the previous ones. She took the case to a Cardio conference at the Children’s Hospital and they suggested more testing. So Beauty Queen was hooked up to  a 30 day Holter Monitor and scheduled for an MRI/MRA and echocardiogram. It was a family affair as we all trekked up to the Hospital together to support our Beauty Queen who was beyond all worry. Thankfully, they were able to give her a sedative, which unfortunately didn’t kick in until thirty minutes into the test. Also, Big Handsome was able to be in the testing room with her; he kept his hand on her head to reassure her he was right there with her. Everything went fine until 15 minutes before the test was to end and she piped up with the need to use the facilities (totally another story, and quite humorous by the way Beauty Queen tells it). Needless to say, she had to hold “it” lest they have to start the whole test over again. Good news is that the cardiologist there told my husband that there didn’t seem to be anything that he saw on the scans that we should be concerned about. It was a long, exhausting day.

Now we just have to wait until we go into see her cardiologist with the final test results.

So, phone calls once again are on tap for me this morning. In fact, gotta go make some now.

This too shall pass, this too shall pass, this too shall pass…

 

Fantasy Doctor Appointment

If I could have a fantasy doctor’s appointment, it might go something like this:

Invite a doctor over to my house. I have quite a nice screened in back porch. It’s the perfect place with a great outdoor atmosphere, complete with rather a nice breeze as well as the twittering of various birds and the sounds of the pool waterfall in the background. I say the back porch as my house has been so neglected over the years; I’m down to just spot cleaning at this point and wouldn’t want to be embarrassed. Of course, the current state of my house is the least of my worries at this time.

He/she must be well versed in POTS, cardiovascular systems, ANS systems, etc., and have a voracious tenacity for getting to the bottom of things. I want him/her to have a willingness to go the distance with me and my health. Compassion is a must. Treating just the symptoms is not an option at this time. Having a fascination with medical mysteries would be a plus.  Treating me as they would treat their own spouse, child, brother, sister, mother or father would be optimal.

Maybe he/she could sing the first part of “Comfortably Numb” by Pink Floyd to me over coffee (careful not to serve too much coffee, God forbid he/she has to use the restroom while here-see above remark about lack of cleaning) to get things off to a good start:

Hello,

Is there anybody in there?

Just nod if you can hear me

Is there anyone home?

 

Come on

Now

I hear you're feeling down

I can ease your pain

Get you on your feet again

 

After hearing the first two verses, I would scream, “YES, there is someone in here!!” I would vigorously nod possibly making myself dizzy in the process, take another sip of coffee and pray that they could get me on my feet again. I would express that I do not wish to become comfortably numb per se, because that would just lead them to the whole treating symptoms thing that I’m not crazy about in the first place, besides I’m pretty much numb already, thus the reason for their presence in the first place.

I would want them to be relaxed and not in a hurry. Part of the reason this meeting would take place at my home, on my back porch. This way, they wouldn’t be worried about the dozen or so people waiting for them in their cramped little waiting room at the office. I would want them to be comfortable and as open and honest with me as I would be with them. I would hope that in their training to become a physician they didn’t skip class on the day that bedside manner was being taught. I would definitely want this person to have the unique ability to think outside the box, to be able to treat patients as individuals with varying “normals”.  I would love it if this doctor had appreciation and an understanding that I know my own body; I know when something isn’t right. Ixnay on the whole “God” complex while I’m at it. And, if there is a chip anywhere, he/she can feel free to leave it at the door.

I would want this doctor to allow me to start at the beginning. Refraining from asking me what my worst symptom is would be prodigious. It would be a welcome reprieve if he/she had a pen and paper (I would even provide this) to write down any pertinent or ear catching issues, symptoms or anomalies. I might even be inclined to search out and provide some sort of recording device in the event that my story would cause them sleepless nights pondering my health and coming up with a foreseeable plan of attack. They would patiently sit and peruse and even read some of my “health notebook” that I painstakingly put together just for their viewing. Perhaps he/she could compare and contrast my labs. Here's an idea, maybe even actually read my chart of symptoms and their frequency.

I would even entertain the very notion of an attempt to appease me, giving some semblance of peace of mind by testing for various things. If the test is positive, then a treatment plan can be proposed. If negative, then at least the issue can be ruled out. I understand about insurance and whatnot and certainly I don't want tests done that aren't necessary (obviously if my big toe hurts, there is no need for a brain scan), but if there is even a possibility...then why not do further testing? An example of what I don't want would be: The doctor last week looking at me (after I suggested an ANA test to rule out autoimmune issues) and saying, "I can tell just by looking at you that you don't have autoimmune issues." I felt like replying with, "I had no idea that x-ray vision was part of your credentials."

I would be ecstatic if they were to have questions about anything, and rest assured I could point them to some sort of medical journal article about it in my notebook. During my fantasy appointment, I would hear nary a comment of this all being in my head. I would not hear the words, “You’ll just have to live with it.”  or "Drink more water, eat more salt and go live a normal life." unless they were looking to get kicked in the throat.

 

I would so enjoy a response of, “Well, I see you are having a time and not able to live life to the fullest. No one should have to be limited in their quest to wake each morning refreshed and rejuvenated. I speak for all the doctors when I say, I am terribly sorry for your past treatment, and I will certainly spend many of my waking moments trying to get to the bottom of your illness so that we can get you treated properly and well on your way to recovery.” Thus, of course, sparing his/her throat.

 

In return, and in addition to the coffee and scones of course, I will listen intently to what the doctor has to offer. I will realize that he/she is only human. I will be humbled by their expertise and more than willing to do my part in finding a better quality of life. I will then refer he/she to the masses that suffer with chronic illness daily.

If anyone has any knowledge of a doctor that is willing to sit down and have some coffee, maybe even a scone or two and discuss health issues, please feel free to pass my information along.



Pity Party Anyone?

Well, my GP appointment was a bust. I took in my binder with all my info, test results, articles, symptoms...you name it. The doctor wasn't all that interested. Don't get me wrong, she was a nice lady, but had a very limited knowledge of POTS. I didn't see my normal GP. I don't know why their idiotic staff has such a problem understanding me when I call to make an appointment with Dr. B. You'd think when one calls the office and says, “I'd like to make an appointment with Dr. B”, they would actually make an appointment for you with that particular dr., but no, not the case. OMG, I can't tell you how frustrated I am.

Stick a fork in me, cuz I'm  freakin' DONE!!

 

I went in to get my Xanax refilled, which she did, but then I told her I had some questions about my POTS and recent symptoms. I expressed to her that I don't have many of the "tell-tail" symptoms of POTS other than tachycardia (which by the way, is certainly not my biggest concern). I told her of my suspicions that there might be something else going on, like autoimmune issues and could I be tested for that. She looked at me and told me I didn't have autoimmune issues. I asked her how she knows if I've never been tested for anything. She briefly looked at my last few years of labs (which are all routine labs mind you) and said that something would've shown up on those. She advised me to keep hydrated and cool and reduce my stress. REALLY!? So I told her that I guess I am just destined to live my life feeling crappy every day. She didn't have a response to that. I gave her my neatly typed word document table consisting of all my symptoms, delineated by frequency. She glanced over it and gave it back with no response. When I informed her that I wanted to know what type of POTS I have, that maybe there is a different treatment if only we knew what we were dealing with. She said since I have tachycardia and all other heart tests were normal, it's safe to assume I have POTS. I felt like saying, “No shit Sherlock, my question is what type? She would have none of it. She told me we'd look at my blood work results during the next visit (in 6 months) and go from there. Apparently she missed the part where I've been dealing with this for four years now.

My husband was with me and I was near tears, but held them back. To my surprise, after the visit, instead of saying,  I told you so, you'll just have to live with it, he told me that the next step is to ask our daughter's cardio for a referral to a cardio or EP that specializes in POTS/Dysautonomia (since she recognized it in my daughter by just reading her symptoms).

I feel so done with it all at this point, I don't even know if I want to even consider seeing anyone else. I feel like I will just have to go on pretending that life is just freaking dandy and if I ignore it long enough, it might just go away.

So much for my time and effort in compiling my notebook...

I'm so disgusted, discouraged, disheartened and any other dis word I can think of.

Sorry for the rant, just wanted to get it off my chest. It's beer-thirty here, as far as I'm concerned, and I'm going to have a few and wallow in my self-pity for the rest of the day.

To Pursue or not to Pursue...

To Pursue or not to Pursue…

That is the question. I was diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome in 2009 following an ER/hospital visit. “Visit” isn’t quite the right word. To use the term “visit” implies that one has a choice in the matter, like, “I’d like to visit the sulfur cliffs in Pamukkale, Turkey". I’ve never known of a person wanting to visit the ER/hospital for their own health reasons. So, I guess I should really say, I was diagnosed following a totally reluctant, dragged kicking and screaming (really I was just driven by Big Handsome as I lay lifeless in the front seat, but if I’d had the energy and wasn’t so worried I was going to die on the spot, I would’ve definitely gone kicking and screaming) ER/hospital stay.  Actually, I was diagnosed after having a Tilt Table Test with “probably POTS”. This begs the question, do I really have POTS or is it just probably?

I’ve been to Cardiologists, Electrophysiologists, GP’s, a Neurologist and even a Psychologist. They’ve all just taken the original diagnosis, concurred, and other than my current GP have given no efforts to treat me. It’s always in the back of my mind that something else might be wrong. I am a firm believer in “everything happens for a reason.” Not in the spiritual sense mind you (although I do believe in that as well, just not for this instance), but in the sense that there must be a reason for this illness. I feel like once that reason is discovered, maybe, just maybe I could get better treatment and attempt to get my life back.

One thing I haven’t done is travel to the few specialists around the country. I’m still on the fence about this. I feel like, why travel for them to tell me what the others have told me, “There’s nothing we can do, eat more salt, drink more water and go live a normal life”? My life over the last four years has been anything but normal. I know it sounds silly, but I can’t just pick up and fly around the country for appointments. For one thing, Big Handsome would have to take time off work. Not that he’s not willing to do that, but how much time? He’s my American Express card so to speak; I never leave home without him. We don’t have family near us that can help out with the kids either, which means that we’d have to drag them along with us. I know you are probably wondering why I complain about all these things and never seem to attempt to find the answers no matter how inconvenient it might be. This is a question I ask myself frequently. I guess I just feel like since I haven’t really had the best of experiences with doctors, why go through all the trouble of traveling, money spent, time spent if all they might do is tell me what all the other doctors have told me? Yes, I do realize that they just might have new information or insight, but I guess I’m just not willing to take the gamble.

I used to be an active, stay at home, homeschooling mom. I am still the latter, just not the former. I feel like I live my life pretending everything is okay. Why can’t people just understand that I feel like crap every single day of my life; it’s just the degree of crappiness that waxes and wanes.

So, I’m contemplating beginning at the beginning. Yes, starting over, but I just don’t know. I don’t know if I can take the emotional and mental stress of it all.

On the flip-side of the coin, (you’ll soon see that my coin has many sides) do I just continue to ignore the fact that I probably have a chronic illness??? Do I continue to wear more masks than all shows performed on Broadway combined? Do I just look in the mirror and repeat some mantra of some sort? As the title of my blog states, I am never hopeless, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I don’t have really crappy days where I just don’t want to pretend anymore.

Place I'd like to visit willingly

 

Place no one ever wants to visit willingly



Top Ten Tuesdays

As you can read, my second job is making phone calls. I spend an inordinate amount of time on the phone. It would be totally great if I spent this time reminiscing about the good ol’ days with a friend, but no, they are phone calls to complete strangers, and it always seems as though I am trying to fix something that someone else screwed up.

I swear, sometimes I feel like I’m surrounded by idiots! And, no, I’m not in a room full of mirrors J

Top Ten Phone Calls I Have to Make (some are repeats for sure):

1. Call my daughter’s Cardiologist’s office to find out results of 24 hour Holter monitor and the outcome of the doctor’s conference with 25+ other cardiologist’s/specialists at the Children’s Hospital regarding my daughter’s case. Never mind that I received this message to call the office when we returned home from a week-long vacation, which we informed the doctor and her nurse of, AND gave my husband’s cell number to call (specifically telling them to call that number) because we would not be home. Again, room full of idiots…I can only suspect/hope that it was nothing serious otherwise (a normal person) would’ve checked the numerous papers we filled out while in-office for the several other phone numbers that we could be reached at.

2. Call pediatrician’s office to have them credit my $50 they charged me as “After Hours Visit” even though there is nothing in writing that states there is an extra charge for anything, let alone a Saturday appointment. This one’s been going on for weeks…

3. Call homeowner’s insurance company to find out if my mortgage company paid the insurance payment, if not, we currently have no homeowner’s and hurricane season is right around the corner. Not good, not good at all.

4. Call my GP to schedule an appointment to get my medication renewed. No, no one (except the pharmacist) told me that this particular medication has to be renewed every six months, not to mention that the doctor ought to know this. Really great when I’m running out of medication and going on vacation thinking (rather stupidly I guess) that I could just call the pharmacist to renew only to have them tell me they can’t renew it and that I need a new script from my doctor. Of course I call the dreaded doctor’s office to see if he will call in my prescription to which the office girl responds with her ever-favorite statement, “Sorry, he can’t do that, you’ll have to make an appointment.” UGH!! No time for an appointment as I was leaving on vacation that same week and had other appointments with various doctors for my daughter…UGH, I so want off this ride! Needless to say, I am grateful that they renewed the script for a month to give me time to schedule an appointment. Although still rather peeved that no one can seem to get their shit straight. Even though I call anyone/everyone that is involved to make sure I have all my i’s dotted and my t’s crossed, I have realized (many moons ago) that nothing, NOTHING is ever easy.

5. Make appointment with lab for Big Handsome and my bloodwork. YAY…

6. Call Big Handsome’s eye doctor to make an appointment because the contact company won’t renew his prescription until he sees the doctor (he’s been seeing the same doctor for 30+ years). Never mind that we were all just in rather recently for an eye exam and no one bothered to check my husband’s eyes for contact purposes. Really??? He’s been wearing them for 30+ years. Oh yeah, I called the eye doctor’s office a few weeks ago to ask them to fax over Big Handsome’s contact prescription and they told me he has to come in for an appointment. Story of my freakin’ life!! Why can’t anyone get their crap together and do all the necessary stuff while we are in the office??? It’s just so damn confounding.

7. Call Big Handsome’s dentist to confirm his appointment. Just hoping that it doesn’t conflict with all the other appointments we have and/or have to make.

8. Call medical insurance company for a bill we received for my son’s annual blood work. We shouldn’t receive a bill because all the blood work was routine as per his “free” annual physical. Now I have to call the insurance so that they can call the doctor’s billing department to explain to them how to code things properly.

9. Make my list of phone calls for next week as I’ll probably have to call all the above people yet again to make sure they are doing what they need to do. Will this ever end!?!?

10. Possibly call Big Handsome to tell him to come home from work early because I very well might be having a nervous breakdown.

Update on Physicals

So Big Handsome and I went in this past week for our Free Yearly Physicals.

Our appointment was at 3:30pm. I called the office at 3pm to see if they were running on time. Of course the receptionist’s response was, “Yes.” We set out for our appointment.

Mind you, the last time I was there, they requested I pay $100 even though I told them that my deductible was met. They informed me that it wasn’t met, so I ended up paying the $100. A week later, I get my EOB in the mail that says “You owe: $13.78, proving that I had in fact paid my deductible already. I took the paper in and the receipt of my $100 payment and explained the situation to the receptionist. She took it to someone else then came back and told/asked me, “Yes, we owe you $88 (and some change), would you like me to put this toward today’s visit?” I was trying so hard to put on a smile and be nice. I so wanted to say to her, “What part of Free Yearly Physical do you NOT understand?” But, I refrained as usual. I simply told her no, we are here for our Free Yearly Physical (again, because she had already asked why we were there when I signed in) and asked her to credit my account because I would be making another appt. to come in at a later time.

We waited an hour in the waiting room, and then were called in only to wait another 30 minutes in the exam room before the doctor came in. I’m SO glad I called ahead of time to find out if they were running on time!! Seriously, pray tell, what is so damn hard about being on time?! I am on time, EVERY TIME! What part of “Are you running on time?”, do they NOT understand? Running on time to me means that when I make an appointment for 3:30pm, I, in fact ought to be called in a 3:30 pm. It really doesn’t seem all that difficult to me. I just don’t get it. I mean, yes, I understand that the dr. might be running late (I do appreciate the time they spend with me and Big Handsome), but don’t LIE to me and tell me the doctor is running on time when it is all too common for him not to be running on time. Just give me the courtesy of honesty for crying out loud!

Let’s just do some simple math, shall we? The office has about 6 exam rooms. There are three people (two doctors and a PA) to take care of patients. I would think that a normal person could do some simple math and figure out that 3 patients can be seen at one time. If the doctor spends approximately 30 minutes with each patient and we are looking at a 9am-5pm schedule, one doctor can see 2 patients an hour. Multiply that by 3 doctors/PA’s and you get 6 patients an hour.  Multiply that by an 8 hour day and the maximum is 48 patients a day. It would be fun to call and see how many patients they see in a day, I would hazard to guess that it is more than 48. I only say this because I’ve asked patients before what their appointment time was and have been told by many, the same appointment time as me. What they seem to do is to schedule multiple people at the same time to fill all 6 exam rooms and they seem to schedule appointments in 15 minute increments (even though they know that the doctor will spend at least 20-30 minutes with you). Again, just by doing some simple math, they are probably scheduling at least 96 patients per day. No wonder they are running behind all the time and that’s provided one of the doctors doesn’t get called for an emergency.

Anywho, long story short (well, kinda), we were in and out in two hours. No complaints about that. I will complain however about how they refused to take our blood in office (which didn’t really make a difference because I knew they would refuse and we hadn’t fasted besides, but as you all know, I love to complain and argue!) They blamed it on the insurance, I told them I had just spoken with the insurance and they had said that our blood could be drawn in office; they insisted my insurance wouldn’t allow it. I did call the insurance the next day and they assured me that my blood could be drawn in office. UGH! I asked for something in writing so I could shove it in their face next time, but unfortunately the insurance company said no, they have no such paper.

Again, people want to know why I hate doctor’s offices, dealing with appointments, lab work and insurance. It’s enough to drive a sane person crazy, and in my case, a crazy person, crazier!!

Big Handsome would never do this, ok, maybe he would. Funny thing though is when the nurse asked him if he was experiencing any pain, I piped up with “Yes, me, does that count?!”

Top Ten Tuesdays

Ok, seems like a “Negative Nelly” kinda day, perhaps a “Complaining Carla", if you will. I’ve spent the last few days calling doctors’ offices in an attempt to explain to them how to do their jobs. Apparently, they skimmed over that part of their contract/employment application. So, here goes in no particular order…

Top Ten annoyances when dealing with Doctors’ offices/appointments:

1. Calling to make an appointment with the doctor and having the receptionist say…”The next appointment we have is October 2026.” Ok, maybe it’s not that bad, but having to wait for an appointment just adds to my already over-the-top anxiety. I’m the same as any other completely selfish, narcissistic person; I want my appointment now, possibly yesterday!

2. When I finally make it into my appointment (and yes, I am ALWAYS on time) to have them tell me that I need to pay $100 (in cash mind you, they don’t take checks or credit cards and don’t bother telling you this ahead of time, as if people just walk around with $100 cash in their wallet) even though my deductible has been met, they just haven’t done their job in finding this information out prior to my appointment, and of course don’t believe me when I tell them it’s already been met. In which case they always end up owing us money! P.S. Unfortunately, I’m not very assertive. I know, I’m working on this, but it is slow going.

3. As stated above, I’m ALWAYS on time (if not early), yet the doctor incessantly seems to be running three hours late. Don’t get me wrong, I realize that the person he went to go see at the hospital next door with heart attack symptoms is probably a priority over me, but really, they can’t just take a moment to get on the horn and tell me the dr. is running late, could you possible reschedule or come in a bit later? Seriously, one time we had an appt. for 3:30 pm and weren’t seen until 7pm. I asked the doctor when he finally came in if they served dinner along with the exam (and yes, I try to be sympathetic; after all, the dr. is there late too). I’ve taken to calling the office ahead of my appointment time to see if the doctor is running late and inevitably they tell me, yes, could you come in in an hour? I reply with, of course, see you in an hour. We make it to the office an hour after the original appointment time and there is still a looooong wait. Fortunately, I explain to the receptionist that I cannot sit upright for hours waiting, so I give her my cell phone number and ask if she could please call me when it’s my turn; I’ll be reclining in Big Handsome’s truck until the doctor is ready for me/us (this is quite possibly the only thing they do for me as a courtesy).

4. Gotta love it when we go in for our yearly physicals. When I call to make the appt. they always ask, “What are being seen for?” My response is, “We are coming in for our Yearly Free Physicals, and I assume there will be blood work involved, do you do the blood work in office?” To which she replies, “Yes, we do blood work in office, so make sure you fast from midnight the night before.” I make the earliest appointment so I’m sure we won’t pass out from lack of food or drink. We get to our appointment at 8:30am. We wait…and wait, and wait. Finally at 10:30 they bring us in. At this point our stomachs feel as though our throats have been cut, but we soldier on. We don’t even see the dr. for a mere physical (that’s not important enough to warrant a doctor), we see the PA. Fine, no problem. Get the physical completed only for the PA to escort us to the “Lab Lady” who then proceeds to give us a paper with our necessary lab work and tell us to go on down stairs to have our blood taken. By now it is 11:30 and we’re about to pass out from lack of food and water. BTW, not a good feeling when one has POTS and is supposed to keep hydrated. I explain to “Lab Lady” that we were told to fast from midnight because we were to have our blood work done in office; we’re going on 12 hours of no food or drink and were told by the receptionist that we’d be getting our blood work done in office. “Lab Lady” tells me, no, you have to go downstairs to the lab of your insurance to do the blood work. Let me remind those that might not know what it’s like to walk into a lab in mid-afternoon for blood work…It is now 11:30 am; the lab downstairs is slam-full of people that have made appointments. I’m now supposed to drag my dehydrated, hungry-as-all-get-out-self downstairs to wait, God knows how long, as a walk-in to get blood taken that could’ve easily been drawn in the doctor’s office. It’s a conspiracy, I tell ya’!! I swear, if I didn’t have high blood pressure and anxiety before going in…I definitely do now! Needless to say, we didn’t go downstairs; we simply made a beeline for the nearest McDonalds. I know, not the healthiest of choices, but if I didn’t get some food and drink soon I was liable to start eating my left arm (as I need my right arm to write).

5. Fast forward to this year’s physical. Well, a bit of background first. The last time I saw the doctor was for my maintenance medicine prescription renewal. The last thing he told us was, “Ah, I see the next time you come in, it will be time for your physicals. I’m going to give you your papers now so that you can get your labs done and then make an appointment for your physical and we can go over all the results then.” I thought to myself, wow how efficient! I then told him that my husband and I come in together (Big Handsome was right there next to me at the time, he’s like my American Express card; I don’t leave home without him). The doctor told me, no problem, just call the office and tell them you need his lab paper and you can come pick it up ahead of time. Sooooo, I called the office this year, explained what the doctor told me to do concerning the lab work and that Big Handsome would be in later in the week to pick up the paperwork. I get a phone call later and the “Lab Lady” tells me, “I only have the paperwork for you, not your husband.” I told her again what the doctor had told me at the last visit (see above) and she says, “Sorry, your husband will have to make an appointment to come in to get the paper.” Ok, I’m getting irritated now. I asked her rather rudely, now that I think about it (sometimes I just can’t help myself), “You mean to tell me that my husband has to make an appointment, pay a co-pay for an office visit so that he can get a paper that the doctor told me to call about getting?” Her response, “I don’t know what to tell you.” So basically, my husband has to take time off work to make an appointment, go in to pick up a piece of paper (that costs $150 mind you, because they will charge us for an office visit), then make another appointment to get our blood work done because they refuse to do it in office while we’re there even though they could if they were so inclined, then make yet another appointment for the actual physical? I was fit to be tied! Needless to say, I didn’t make a separate appointment. We go in today for our physicals, and we haven’t had our blood work completed because they refused to give me the paper prior to today’s visit. I can’t wait until the doctor opens our files to go over the results of the lab work that aren’t there. We’ll see how that goes down. Maybe I’ll get a chance to let him know what a bunch of inept people he has working for him.

6. Not related to above statements concerning my husband or me. Love it when I take one of my children in for a physical at the pediatrician’s and have blood work done (in office might I add, why can’t they call my doctor and explain how to do this, I’ll never know?) They then tell me that they will call if there are any issues with the blood work. Ok. No problem. They call a few days later and tell me to make an appointment to come in and see the doctor. I ask if there was anything serious and do I really need to make an appointment (I know, even doctor’s offices are businesses, and truly, if it is serious, I will gladly make an appointment, after all these are my gems I’m talking about). They skirt around my question just saying that the doctor told them to call and make an appointment. Of course my mind goes into overdrive, thanks to POTS and I’m thinking all kinds of horrid things that might be the problem. Big Handsome senses my anxiety over the phone and tells me, “Go ahead and make the appt. for today, I’ll leave work early.” We get to the doctor’s office and wait over an hour to see the doctor. She walks in and tells us “Your son has slightly elevated cholesterol.” SERIOUSLY???!!! You couldn’t have told me this over the phone. Here I thought my son would have to have his arm removed at the very least, Big Handsome takes off work early to rush to the doctor to hear this??? I know, I know; yes we are quite thankful that it was nothing more serious, but really??? And of course, they charged us for an office visit to boot. Big Handsome lost four times the amount of the office visit by taking off work only to find out that our son has elevated cholesterol. UGH!!!

7. Here’s another gem concerning my daughter. She is on maintenance medication and she needed a renewal. I called the office to see if the doctor could call in the prescription. The response of course was, “You’ll have to make an appointment.” I knew from experience that this was going to happen so I made an appointment. Their next question is “When would you like to come in?” I say, “When can I get in?” She tells me, “We have an opening Saturday, is that ok?” I say, “Great, make the appointment, we’ll see you then.” Saturday comes and goes, we have a successful appointment, and all things are grand. A bit later we get a bill in the mail. One charge is for the office visit, no problem, even though I’m a bit chapped that they charge me for an office visit when all the doctor did was chat us up for a while and renew her script, but I suppose everyone has to make money somehow. Anywho, I notice on the bill a charge for $50 labeled, “After Hours Charge”. I’m perplexed. No one told me at the time of the scheduling that a Saturday appointment is an extra $50, nor are there any signs visible in the office, nor is there anything on their website pertaining to this extra charge. Now, I’m irritated once again. The outcome of this is still pending.

…I’m so exhausted at this point; I don’t even think I can muster another 3 for the Top Ten. Today, Big Handsome and I go in for our Yearly Free Physical in which case, I am not going to fast because I know that they are going to give me the paper to take downstairs for the blood work. However, since my middle name is Murphy, they will probably say, “Well, have you been fasting? We were planning on taking your blood in office.” If this is the case, you might just see my name and picture on the Nightly News as “Irate Woman Stabs Office Staff in Eyes with Nearest Weapon, a Stapler”.

And people want to know why I hate going to see a doctor, abhor making doctor’s appointments et al. Can’t wait to see what today’s appointment brings. God-forbid I mention anything dealing with POTS or any other symptoms because certainly they will code it so that they can make more money off me and I’ll have to spend countless hours on the phone with the insurance company. I can already feel my blood pressure rising…

This really turned into rather a rant than a list…sorry ‘bout that! I do feel a bit better having gotten it off my chest though J

*I do apologize (although not entirely sincerely) to those that are doctors, work in doctors’ offices or labs or have associations with the aforementioned people. Seriously, get your shit together!